we were waiting for someone to pick us up. They took a lot longer than
we expected.. But this is what I was thinking. I was having a rough
day thinking about the past, something that I shouldn't do out here
but this hit me like a ton of bricks. Check it out --
Something that I'm starting and is hitting me really hard is how fast
time truly goes. It's really hard to really grasp, but the thought
that Sis. Naihe taught us in English at BYUH is that no matter what
you do, when you leave somewhere, anywhere, it will never be the same
when you return. This thought is and has been scaring me a lot. That I
didn't "capture" enough moments per say while I was a teenager. I know
I am still a teenager but I turn 20 in 6 months. That is ludicrous. I
can't believe that I'm not a teenager anymore. It's so difficult for
me to think back to a time and realize it will never be the same.
However, the thought that is saving me and just blew my mind right now
is that I have to stop thinking about the past. Yes, the past has some
great memories but what I mean is that in the grand scheme of things
this life is a test and who actually likes tests? Anyone? Cuz I sure
don't. So, bear with me for a moment while I make an analogy. This
life is a test. It is our final. The final exam that will allow us to
(if we pass) life with God, our father in heaven. In the middle of
tests we may find happiness if we know the answer! You know that
feeling your like "I KNOW THIS! I KNOW I got this right." Think of
those as those memories that you love. You enjoy thinking back on. But
it's still part of the test. You have those moments where you like oh
crap. What am I going to do.
When we finish the test and we pass we are so happy. We find so much
joy. That's how after this life will be. If we pass. If we don't pass
we feel that, not joy. We are angry upset, disappointed. We knew we
could have done better. The beauty behind all of this is that we have
an amazing instructor who allows us, with some struggle, to change our
answers. To erase what we did and make it new; correct.
This has helped me so much. As I think about my life, and how I have
some very happy moments and some oh crap moments I remember that the
joy that I will have in the life after this will be nowhere close to
the happiness I found here. That's now what Go pad wants for us. He
wants us to find joy. To be like him. If he is God, then he is Perfect
in every way. That means he has found perfect joy. Perfect happiness.
I want that. I want to become like him. The happiness that we find in
this life is not even comparable to the happiness that we will find
after this life if we pass the test. Even if we don't, we still have
that opportunity to fix our mistakes.
I have been struggling with these thoughts for the past few days...
weeks. When this thought popped into my head I had to wright it down
so I didn't forget because I wanted to share it with y'all. -August
But ya! Something that I'm coming to find is how well elder Jessop
and I got along. He and I became best friends REAL QUICK. From the get
go we got along. Elder case my new companion is fresh out of high
school. He is a great elder. He wants to work so hard, and is working hard on learning how to do it.
He will get it and he will be a great missionary.
We did terrible on teaching goals. We didn't have a single tracting
approach lesson, we only had a couple Recent convert less active
(RCLA) lessons, and it was just a slow week. But one great thing that
did happen was that the O's want to take elder Case and I down to the
temple next Monday to walk around and ask questions! I asked president
and he said yes! I'm so excited for them!!
This I tried to how you say "Count [my] many blessings" or things I'm
grateful for. Here are a few--
- Waking up semi easily (as soon as the alarm goes off)
- Endurance (biking)
- My thought I had that I wrote down
- The O's and their kindness towards us
- Feeling the spirit so strong
These are just to name a few. I am so grateful for all of my blessings.
So like I said earlier. Not much happened this week... Not many opened
doors. Not many people talk to or taught. But that's okay. Some weeks
are just like that.
I've gots the best Gamie ever.
This is my project. I am taking post-it notes and am writing quotes memories logos and lyrics of things that I like. From quotes from Coldplay to Nickleback to Cherie Call to a Nixon Logo and HE>I. To a Christian Rap song G showed me which is really really good and this line stood out to me so much. See bottom right notes.
ABC stores? Hawaii????